Returning
by The Cell
Summary: Blaine is tempted to return to Dalton.


So this is entirely dialogue, written upon seeing the preview for next week. I considered actually writing the story around it, but...clearly I didn't.

I don't own Glee.

* * *

"You sang with the Warblers?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Does it really matter?"

"You're thinking about going back?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"I used to be someone I liked."

"Dude you cheated. I don't know if Kurt is going to forgive you, and it was a dick move, but it's not actually the end of the world."

"It's not about the cheating. It's everything that led up to it. I was confident. I had no clue what I was doing most of the time, possibly all the time, but I was never afraid to do it. Now I'm…this. My entire self-image rests on other people. That's not fair to anyone, especially not Kurt. I think I've known since Whitney week last year, when I sang."

"When you thought Kurt was cheating on you."

"_I'd rather be alone than unhappy_. Only that's not true anymore. It should be, but it's not."

"You're not alone. I have literally never seen you alone."

"I'm flashy, I get attention, I'm also forgettable. Don't deny it. We were friends by the end of last year right?"

"Yeah."

"Be honest, think back. How many times between graduation and me turning up in New York did I even cross your mind? You don't have to tell me, I can guess. Do you really think you're the only one? I was your brother's boyfriend and I barely registered, how quickly do you think everyone else forgets?"

"Come on, I was running away man, you can't just assume everyone's forgotten you because I was being a douche. I didn't keep in touch with anyone."

"I send out bi-weekly updates via e-mail to everyone who graduated. I'm pretty sure Santana just blocked me, but she's not the only one who doesn't answer. I'm Mike's easiest link to Tina at the moment, he asks for follow-ups sometimes, Rachel answered at first, but not since that night."

"You can't just leave."

"It's not like I'm going to Guam. I'll be in Westerville. If any of you actually need me I'll be here within two hours."

"Glee needs you."

"Not anymore. There are enough able bodies for competitions, and there are plenty of great voices. Sam and Artie are at least as good as I am, and Jake and Ryder have bucket loads of talent, not to mention the girls, have you heard Tina lately?"

"You sound like you've made your mind up. What about your friends here? Sam? Marley practically worships the ground you walk on."

"Finn. Just don't."

"No, I think I will. You're talking about leaving everyone. What about everyone in Glee, your family?"

"If glee is my family now I'm going to have to start thinking it's me. Guess how many people I've talked to this week that weren't you?"

"I don't know."

"Two. Sam told me he asked Brittany out, and Marley asked me to play the piano for her assignment this week. I am in every club in this school and I have talked to two people in the last five days. Trust me, if people miss me, it'll pass soon enough. It'll be like I was never even here."

"The Warblers want you back. Are they your family?"

"No. I was never under any illusions as to why they liked me. I'm good at singing and I can lead without standing out too much. We were friendly. Dalton, the Warblers, it was a safe place to land, not home. I think that's what I need right now. I'm of no use to anyone here until I sort myself out."

"You're our friend, you're not here to be useful."

"I'm not really anything else either. I'm moody and co-dependent. I've lost all of my good qualities somewhere along the line. I figure when all else fails go for the key finder method, go back to where you know you had them."

"Don't leave. Your personality isn't at Dalton. It's not the kind of thing you leave in a drawer. What's Schue going to say when he comes back and I've lost the new Rachel?"

"It's obviously not your fault, and I can easily tell him that."

"Will you at least wait to make up your mind until you've talked to the glee club?"

"Yes."

* * *

"I went to visit the Warblers yesterday."

"He sang with them."

"He's gone Dark Side!"

"They're a show choir, not the Sith. I think I should go back to Dalton."

"What? Why?"

"But they're evil!"

"You can't leave!"

"They blinded you."

"They apologized for that, we all moved on. There's no point in dangling that over their heads forever."

"What did they say to you? Did they threaten you?"

"No. Nothing untoward happened. They made sure to note that I was still welcome there, but this is my decision."

"Why?"

"Because I need to change, and I keep changing for the worse. I need a change of scenery. Dalton made me better while I was there, and I think it can do so again."

"What about us?"

"You as a group don't need me anymore, and if you as individuals ever find that you do I will be a phone-call and a two hour drive away. I will happily make that drive whenever you need me."

"Would you be happy there?"

"Maybe. Probably not for a while, but in the long run I believe I can build myself back up to someone I can be proud of."

"You are someone you can be proud of."

"No. I'm not, and I haven't been for a while."

"Is this about the cheating?"

"In a sense. It is about how I let myself get to that point. I allowed one person's opinion of me dictate my own, and when I felt that that good opinion was lost I scrambled to fill that void in the worst possible way."

"That doesn't make you a bad person."

"Maybe not, but it is something that needs to change."

"You're really leaving?"

"I think it would be for the best."

* * *

"You're not going to get better there you know."

"Mike, what are you doing here? I thought you wouldn't be back again until Thanksgiving."

"I got this funny little e-mail that said you were thinking about transferring back to Dalton. I assumed you were joking, no offence but you've been kind of hit and miss on the humor front lately, but then I got a call from our good friend Marley Rose. She seemed kind of distressed. I'm still hoping your delivery was as bad as your joke."

"I wasn't joking."

"Yeah. I kind of figured that out. I also talked to Finn and Tina. They told me about your…let's just call them issues for now."

"I would have thought you'd be happy. You called me on it months ago, the bit about sinking too far into my relationship at least."

"You and I both know what's going to happen if you go back to the Warblers now. They're going to use your talent, and most of them will probably hoist you right back up on your pedestal where you will proceed to try to put yourself back together the way you were. Turn yourself into the Blaine Warbler everyone liked."

"That is the general idea."

"And then you're going to retreat into your navy and red armor and continue to take everyone's shit until your skin becomes thicker and it stops hurting."

"That is the risk. I have to change something Mike. What I'm doing isn't ok."

"So what? You're going to fall back, lick your wounds until you're ready to take another beating?"

"No one did anything to me, I did."

"We all did. You escalated and did something you shouldn't have, but with the amount of friends you have, the fact that none of us knew about this, that's fucking shameful, and that's on us."

"My insecurities are not your fault."

"No, but they were my responsibility. New Directions acted as a support system for all of us, and you still think you were just Kurt's boyfriend. You're not. You're also not just Blaine Warbler or any of the other compartmentalized half people you can think of. It's not your insecurities that are the problem here, it's the fact that you cry for help like other people ask for directions."

"What does that even mean?"

"You've managed to convince yourself that no one cares because no one else communicates like you. I don't have three pages of stuff to say. I love that you do, your updates seriously kept me sane while Tina and I weren't talking and I enjoy hearing from you."

"I'll keep sending them."

"Just do me a favor. Right now, send a text to that list of graduated New Directions I know you have somewhere, you don't need to personalize, a mass text will do, just this once."

"And say what?"

"Exactly what you've told everyone here, that you're considering donning the blazer again."

* * *

"What the hell Hobbit? If I hear you set foot in gay Hogwarts again I am coming up there and dragging your curly ass back myself. Is that meerkat doing something again?"

"What? Sebastian? No."

"You can't seriously be dating him, I thought you had better taste."

"I'm not dating Sebastian, I didn't even speak to him. It was mostly Hunter to be honest."

"Mercedes Jones is not amused by your text. Neither is Unique by the way."

"Puck said something about Puckzilla and shanking some bitches. Someone want to explain?"

"Your brother was reacting to the same text as Mercedes. Tell him we're working on it."

"Young Burt Reynolds, I should have known this was where you were."

"Coach Sylvester."

"A certain ex-head-cheerleader has just informed me of your impending defection, which I simply can't allow."

"You hate glee, both in club form and otherwise, shouldn't you be happy about people leaving?"

"Ordinarily yes, but without your extraordinarily triangular eyebrows in the foreground I will be forced to look at the sloppy, clichéd choreography. You are now on the cheerios where I can keep an eye on you, you will pick up your uniform before class tomorrow. You too girl Asian."

"Rachel wants to know if the crisis has been averted."

"No one else can keep in touch like you, but we can rally like nobody's business. Now are you going to hand over the blazer or do we need to call everyone back for an intervention?"

"Put me on speaker curly fry."

"Santana has a message apparently."

"Brit, Tina, Sandy?"

"Marley."

"Whatever. Next time bowtie starts looking like a kicked puppy, you feed him coffee and stale cookies and make him sing until he cheers the fuck up ok? Hug him if you have to, and steal his car keys."

"Yes ma'am."

"Remember how you thought no one would miss you? You're going to miss those days."

"Thank you."


End file.
